nicquee goes senti

Quitting – Phase I

I had a very very very bad day last Monday. I had trouble letting my milk down as I was so stressed. I was supposed to attend a meeting but due to circumstances, I told hubby to pick me up already as I wanted to go home. After a few minutes of trying, my milk still won’t come out. I finally gave up, mind already aching because of anger. I told myself I’ll just express milk when I get home. I produced barely an ounce of milk.

After eating dinner at that night, I told hubby to prepare my pump so I can make Aye’s milk for the net day. After a few seconds, I told him that I’ll probably rest already as I’m too tired. The next day, before I took a shower, I checked if hubby was able to put inside the fridge the little milk I made. I saw a bottle in the sink after looking inside the fridge. Then I found out that MIL threw the milk. I just dismissed it to cut the long story short and told them (MIL and Ate Meriam) to feed Ayex with Dutchmill and Chocolait. So that Tuesday, Ayex didn’t have breastmilk during daytime.

When we came home, I immediately asked Ate Meriam how was Ayex given that she didn’t have breastmilk after we left the house for work. She said she was just fine. She asked for water most of the time and would ask them to open the fridge so she can get “milk” by herself. I was relieved. I had the feeling that Ayex would be all thirsty for milk from time time we left her until we come back. So I asked Ate Meriam, “Sa tinging mo pwede na akong hindi mag express ng milk? (Do you think I can stop expressing milk already?” And she said yes.

So today, it is the second day that I come to work without my pink tweety lunch bag. I told hubby that I will stop expressing milk at work as it is also tiring for me but I also told him that I will still continue to breastfeed Ayex during nighttime and exclusively on weekends. I don’t think I’m already ready to quit breastfeeding Aye altogether, that’s why my title has “Phase I”. I’m still leaning towards child-lead weaning.

I did it!

After days of agonizing and searching the world wide web for the perfect tool to recover the lost pictures I told you about in the earlier post, I finally found one!

Since Monday, I’ve been trying all my luck searching for a freeware to recover the precious pictures we lost. The reason why I feel so bad about it is that, these pictures are those taken since Christmas until Ayex’s 2nd birthday celebration. Imagine, we didn’t have a trace of Ayex’s birthday! How sad could that be?

I tried using the ever reliable restoration.exe file. This is the utility that I use whenever I accidentally deleted something using Shift+Delete then after doing so, I would realize that I still need that file. It was able to show me the files that we deleted from the memory card using the digital camera, but it was not able to restore those lost pictures due to quick format.

After failing on my first attempt, I started thinking about purchasing those expensive and “legitimate” file recovery tools. Some applications offer a preview of the file you’re looking for. If you found the file you need, you then purchase a license for you to be able to restore that file. I was told Mon about it. It seems to me that he’s not that affected. I’m probably too sentimental. Anyways, I was so close to downloading one of those tools. I thought that when it worked, I’ll ask hubby to pay for the license so I can recover all our lost pictures when today, a miracle happened!

I googled some keywords and it returned several web pages that contained a list of file recovery tools. One web page I opened list several freeware. I was having a hard time selecting which to view. After reading the snippet for PC Inspector, I gave it a shot and downloaded the file. I installed it and tried my luck once more. During the recovery process, I can see in its dialogue box that it found some files already! As the number of found files increase, my heart’s thumping increased as well. I feel so overwhelmed just by seeing that the tool is finding more files in our memory card than restoration.exe. When it finally stopped, it found nearly 200 files. I started recovering the files one by one even if there is an option for multiple recovery just to be sure I’m not wasting time my time on rubbish.

I checked every recovered file as soon as PC Inspector is finished recovering it. I was disappointed to see the first few files as black or maroon colored pictures only. I tried again. In one of the dialogue boxes that opens, there was an option that should be selected if the files were lost due to quick formatting. After selecting the right settings, I began to see clear pictures. Hoooooooray!

Recovering all the almost 200 pictures sure took some time specially when the tool had to rescan because it encountered an access violation error. But you know, seeing the pictures back again and safe definitely wipes out all the frustration and agony I had. I was not able to recover the videos we had but at least, I have all the pictures!

Thank you so much PC Inspector! I’ll definitely tell my friends and family about you!

Weekend Tidbits

As many of you know, I have a lump, which happen to be a cyst in the right side of my head. When I first knew about it, I was very hesitant to tell my family, even my in-laws. I know they’ll be so worried over something, which the doctor referred to as not urgent.

Of course I told hubby about it and he is much much worried than I am. A few days after, while eating dinner, he blurted the news to his parents. MIL instantly stood up from where she is, went to me and asked where it is. I forgot how I told my mom about it. I told my dad about it through a text message. The following weekend that we visited them, everyone is soooo worried as if I have a very serious illness. Last week was a very stressful week for me. My mom would text me almost every day to ask when do I plan to have the cyst remove. I got tired and finally decided to schedule the minor operation.

Last Saturday, hubby accompanied me to Borough Medical Institute. We left Ayex at home because we thought I’d be all sickly after the operation. I even had a list of things I’ll ask hubby to give me in my head. Hahahaha! A few minutes after arriving at the clinic, I was told to change clothes. Hubby went with me in the waiting area. After the procedure he told me that he was waiting for the nurse to also give him his scrub suits. He thought he’ll go inside with me during the operation. As if I’m undergoing a major operation like giving birth! Hahahaha!

The procedure started at 2PM. My surgeon had to shave a small circle (size of an old one peso coin) where the lump is to sterilize the area. After that, he started with the procedure. I was awake the whole time. I didn’t feel any pain. He told me before that this one is bloodier than when the lump is somewhere else like in my arms. I thought I’d see blood flowing. I was prepared for that but no, I didn’t see it. I only saw the blood when the assisting nurse put down the gauze he was using to wipe all the blood in my head. I would move my body a little from time to time because the rest of my body is already tired for lying straight. After a while, the surgeon said we’re done. He told me to head to his clinic for my prescription. As he helped me stood up, he held my head. He requested for an elastic bandage, which he used to hold the gauze on my bleeding wound. By 3PM, we’re already leaving Eastwood.

Hubby and I were both thankful that it’s finally over. Apart from the elastic bandage in me head, I look perfectly fine, as if nothing happen. We even went to SM North to have sapphire checked because her Wireless LAN won’t initiate. After an hour, sapphire is already ok, we went home. As expected my in-laws were also amazed that I am just fine after the operation. I just stayed inside the room and took care of Ayex when she asks for milk. By 8PM, I felt that the wound is hurting little by little. I thought that the anesthesia is already wearing off. So I took a nap and woke up a little past nine.

The following day, we went to church in the morning. I feel better this time. Instead of the elastic bandage, I used the gartered headband Therese gave me before. It did the trick and I seem so normal! By lunch time, we checked this house owned by a family friend. It was ok. It has a big garage. I didn’t like it very much because I think it’s quite far. What I liked about it most is the fact that the owner also sold with the house some appliances which includes: 5 air conditioners, an old sofa, a water heater and an Elba gas range. The gas range was the one that broke my heart. Hahahaha!

After the house trip, we went back home because our little girl was so sleepy. When she woke up, we left again to do the grocery. We went to bed early because the little girl was tired plus I have to rest as well. However, I discovered something really sad. When hubby reformatted sapphire, all the picture she has were lost even if he hadn’t reformatted our drive E, where all the files were. It’s so sad that it’s the first thing that I remembered when I woke up today.