I had a very very very bad day last Monday. I had trouble letting my milk down as I was so stressed. I was supposed to attend a meeting but due to circumstances, I told hubby to pick me up already as I wanted to go home. After a few minutes of trying, my milk still won’t come out. I finally gave up, mind already aching because of anger. I told myself I’ll just express milk when I get home. I produced barely an ounce of milk.
After eating dinner at that night, I told hubby to prepare my pump so I can make Aye’s milk for the net day. After a few seconds, I told him that I’ll probably rest already as I’m too tired. The next day, before I took a shower, I checked if hubby was able to put inside the fridge the little milk I made. I saw a bottle in the sink after looking inside the fridge. Then I found out that MIL threw the milk. I just dismissed it to cut the long story short and told them (MIL and Ate Meriam) to feed Ayex with Dutchmill and Chocolait. So that Tuesday, Ayex didn’t have breastmilk during daytime.
When we came home, I immediately asked Ate Meriam how was Ayex given that she didn’t have breastmilk after we left the house for work. She said she was just fine. She asked for water most of the time and would ask them to open the fridge so she can get “milk” by herself. I was relieved. I had the feeling that Ayex would be all thirsty for milk from time time we left her until we come back. So I asked Ate Meriam, “Sa tinging mo pwede na akong hindi mag express ng milk? (Do you think I can stop expressing milk already?” And she said yes.
So today, it is the second day that I come to work without my pink tweety lunch bag. I told hubby that I will stop expressing milk at work as it is also tiring for me but I also told him that I will still continue to breastfeed Ayex during nighttime and exclusively on weekends. I don’t think I’m already ready to quit breastfeeding Aye altogether, that’s why my title has “Phase I”. I’m still leaning towards child-lead weaning.