mommy matters – Page 79

Morning Thinking

We are back in Las Pinas. I think we’re going to stay there for two weeks. It has been a while you know. The last time I saw my family was in June 23 when Ayex had her usual check up and vaccination.

The agreement was, we will stay in each place for a month. We went back to QC last June 4 in time for the opening of classes. That means we should have been back to Las Pinas since July 4. I told my husband that it is fine with me if we stay a bit longer in QC since my sister-in-law is leaving for US in August. I want her to enjoy Ayex as much as she can because they will not be seeing each other for a long time.

Las Pinas is very far from where we both work. I understand that and I am prepared to commute despite the fact that rainy season had started. However, he decided to bring the car this morning. And all these started when we got stuck in the long traffic in Coastal Road.

We took Coastal Road because we thought the traffic is not heavy according to my brother. When hubby saw a queue of cars piling near the toll gate, he frowned. We did not like it at all. Much more when we saw lots of red lights after we paid the toll. Then, he said something like “Mommy, malayo talaga tayo pag dito eh. Di rin maganda kung laging late, lalo na ngayon magiging project manager ka na.” I just said “Ano gusto mo balik na tayo ng QC?” I did not say anything after that. I kept quiet with different things running in my mind.

If we are to stay in QC (no more going home to LP every other month), then it would not be fair to my family. They would have to travel from LP to QC if they would want to see Ayex. My mom did that before and I did not liked it.
If we really want to stop staying from one place to another, why not just have a place of our own? If we want to visit our families, we can do that on weekends.
It is not a question of “Can they take care of Ayex?”. It is more of to give both families a chance to spend ample time with Ayex. It hurt me when Ayex cried yesterday upon arriving in LP for no reason at all. Maybe because she cannot recognize her Tita Gabby and Tita Tonette.

**There is really so much more. I just do not want to think about them anymore. But you know, this is becoming a problem. Why not share with me your thoughts so we can finally resolve this. Come to think of it, don’t you see that I am trying to be a good wife and in-law here. 🙁

Update – Part 3

This post is all about my post-partum days…

When I was discharge from the hospital after I gave birth to Ayex, we went home to QC instead of LP. This is due to the old belief kung san ititira ang baby, dun xa dapat una iuwi.

Anyways, so there. I was in QC with my new born, my mom and in-laws, my hubby still in China. The first few days was ultra difficult because of too many reasons some of which are:

I can’t get my milk out so we continued to feed Ayex with formula though I let her suckle first. They said that my hubby should help me with it but as I said, he’s in China.
I miss my husband. I felt that I was going through a very difficult situation in my life and I need him by my side but he’s not there. There would be times that I just cry because I remember that he is away and will not be back tomorrow or the next day.
I felt helpless. I grew up very independent. I never got hospitalized before. When I was sick, I took care of myself. I had to evercome a lot of emotions after giving birth. I was never used to people taking care of every single thing that I need. And since I was helpless, I had no choice but to accept whatever it is that was offered to me even if meant I was being over cared for (literally).

There’s actually so much more. However, since this post is super delayed, I can’t remember those other things that I used to worry about or those things that made me cry randomly. My mom said, it’s normal, it happens. But I felt mine was different.

When my hubby arrived from China, I thought things would start to get better. We’re already in LP where the environment became more conducive for a recovering person like me. I was wrong. I was happy that my hubby is back. However, after a few days, it seemed that we had a problem. And I was correct. Good thing that I had the gut to ask why. I don’t know why is it that I’m not good at that. Well, maybe because I hate people to see me cry, specially my family. I don’t to be asked why am I crying.

So we talked. He was overwhelmed that we were two when he left and when he came back we were already three. Before I was taking care of him only but now, I was taking care of the baby, not him. We were able to discuss the so many wrong feelings that we both have. It’s funny because we were both crying. At the end of everything, we’re back to normal.

Update – part 2

This post is all about how I gave birth to Alessandra Monique aka Alex or Ayex.

As per my OB’s assessment, my EDD is January 10. So I decided to report to work until December 29. Thanks to my team for organizing a baby shower for ayex! ^.^

Since the next coming days are holidays, I filed my maternity leave starting Jan 8 so I can maximize it. Maternity leave in PH is not at all nice because it’s by calendar days, which includes Saturdays and Sundays. It sucks because in reality, I don’t really work on these days. So going back, during these days that I’m on vacation leave, I was busy preparing myself to give birth. I wanted ayex to come out early because Mon is going to China on the 7th and will be back after 2 weeks. Not a nice situation, right?

I did a lot of walking in the morning and in the afternoon. Para daw matagtag ako and hindi mahirapan manganak. So on Jan 5, Friday, I went to SM Southmall for a walk because walking in our subdivision everyday is becoming boring. We walked a lot. Whenever I felt tired, we would stop so I could sit down. My tummy hurt from time to time but not so much.

The next day, Mon woke up early because he had to go to QC for his aunt’s funeral. He’d also get his stuffs which he would be bringing to China. He woke me up before he left and promised to be back by lunch time. I went back to sleep after he left. I went out of the bed at around 11 AM to pee. To my surprise, it seemed to me that my pee had some blood with it. I got a little tensed so I asked my sisters if they have their cycle and they forgot to flush the toilet. My sisters don’t have their cycle yet. This made me a bit more tensed. Iinom ako ng tubig para ma wiwi ako uli tapos titignan ko kung may dugo nga. I drank some more water and when I felt some discharge (sorry if you just ate or something), I went to the bathroom right away. There’s blood!

I’m not supposed to panic. I called my Mom, who’s in work to tell her about the blood but no one is answering their phone. I called Mon to ask him where he is and told him about the blood. I called my doctor and he told me to see him on that day. I’m not scared, but I’m not confident either. We left our home at around 2 PM to go to the hospital. I was fine. We reached the hospital at around 3 PM.

In the hospital, they took my BP, weight and performed other procedures. After a while, they told me that they will already put IV. I declined because I told them that I will still see my OB. It happened that my OB is one of the hospital’s owners so the nurses took my word and didn’t put anything on me, not even the gown.

When my OB arrived, he asked the nurses why is it that I don’t have IV and why am I not wearing the gown. Yeah, napagalitan sila dahil sa’kin. I was kinda rushed to put on the gown. They put me the IV and ushered to my OB’s clinic. After that, my OB told me that I would to stay in the Labor room for observation. I told him that I still want to walk around but he said no. Hindi na ako matatagtag.

Mon left me with my Mom. We realized that this was better than if he stayed with me at the hospital. There were 7 more expectant mothers to be who went inside the labor room at different hours. All of them already gave birth and I’m still on 2 cm. I can’t sleep, maybe because I’m not sleepy but even if I was already sleepy, I was still unable to sleep. I was also a bit hungry. They only fed me with two crackers and tea. According to them, this is procedure. You already know why.

Mon’s flight was at 6 AM. He visited me at 3 AM and left after a few minutes because he had to go to the airport already. By 9 AM, I was already very very sleepy but can’t sleep because I’m in pain. I didn’t like the nurses on that shift because they were not as helpful and accommodating as the nurses during the night. I remembered I was able to finish a Sunday mass and even saw SOP or ASAP. I saw every single TV program that Saturday to Sunday lunch time.

The nurse woke me up and told me that she’d be transferring me to another bed. I knew this. Even when my lipbalm fell on that floor, I knew it. I was taken to the delivery room. I even said hello to my OB. I followed the instructions given to me by my anesthesiologist. I knew I was trying to help my OB with his concern with his mobile phone. He was trying to call overseas but he couldn’t dial the number. I remembered my OB saying “Nicole, ikaw lang makakapaglabas ng baby. Cge, gusto mo bang ma-caesarian?” After hearing that, I pushed and pushed and pushed. Then, it was finished. Ayex went out at 3:45 PM. Her dad was already in China and I, I was asleep.

Note: This is already the shorter version. I couldn’t put everything into writing anymore because this post is becoming long.