This post is all about my post-partum days…
When I was discharge from the hospital after I gave birth to Ayex, we went home to QC instead of LP. This is due to the old belief kung san ititira ang baby, dun xa dapat una iuwi.
Anyways, so there. I was in QC with my new born, my mom and in-laws, my hubby still in China. The first few days was ultra difficult because of too many reasons some of which are:
- I can’t get my milk out so we continued to feed Ayex with formula though I let her suckle first. They said that my hubby should help me with it but as I said, he’s in China.
- I miss my husband. I felt that I was going through a very difficult situation in my life and I need him by my side but he’s not there. There would be times that I just cry because I remember that he is away and will not be back tomorrow or the next day.
- I felt helpless. I grew up very independent. I never got hospitalized before. When I was sick, I took care of myself. I had to evercome a lot of emotions after giving birth. I was never used to people taking care of every single thing that I need. And since I was helpless, I had no choice but to accept whatever it is that was offered to me even if meant I was being over cared for (literally).
There’s actually so much more. However, since this post is super delayed, I can’t remember those other things that I used to worry about or those things that made me cry randomly. My mom said, it’s normal, it happens. But I felt mine was different.
When my hubby arrived from China, I thought things would start to get better. We’re already in LP where the environment became more conducive for a recovering person like me. I was wrong. I was happy that my hubby is back. However, after a few days, it seemed that we had a problem. And I was correct. Good thing that I had the gut to ask why. I don’t know why is it that I’m not good at that. Well, maybe because I hate people to see me cry, specially my family. I don’t to be asked why am I crying.
So we talked. He was overwhelmed that we were two when he left and when he came back we were already three. Before I was taking care of him only but now, I was taking care of the baby, not him. We were able to discuss the so many wrong feelings that we both have. It’s funny because we were both crying. At the end of everything, we’re back to normal.