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Mommy’s fear

This post is actually a sequel to another post that I have yet to type. I just had to let it out now so I can stop thinking about it. Not really sure about that, but at least I’m sure writing about it will help.

My morning yesterday was somewhat disastrous: I left my mobile phone at home then my ID with all my keys in the car. I managed to move on a little by indulging with McDonald’s breakfast, which I haven’t done for how long, I can’t remember. (The price that I pay for the food seemed too high for me).

It was Therese and I who went to Mcdo for breakfast. On our way, our topic is my drama queen in the making. Yep, you’re right, I’m talking about Ayex. She’s really a bright and talented little girl that at 17 months, she’s so good at acting up every time she doesn’t get what she wants. No, don’t put all the blame to me if she’s becoming a spoiled brat. Blame me partially because I’m not there to raise her with my own parenting style. What are my choices?

I told Therese that my fear is, what if one day Ayex will no longer be as clingy to me as she is now because she know that MIL is always by side as her kakampi. Therese said that it’s a good thing I am breastfeeding Ayex or else, my fear could have happened long before. She has a point in that. The only thing that differentiates MIL and me is that, I’m the own breastfeeding her. That’s the only thing MIL CAN’T DO.

Fast forwarding this entry.

We arrived home early. As soon as we stopped by our gate, I heard Ayex’s loud cry. I immediately went off the car and see what happened. I saw my brother handing Ayex to MIL. It turned out that she just woke up from sleep. She should still be sleeping but the sound of the car and the barking dogs woke her up.

I tried getting her from MIL and it all started from there. She refused to go to me. She looked at me and then she rested her head again to MIL’s shoulder. If I was emotional that time, I could have cried and left the house off to nowhere. I tried again to get her for the second time, she still refused but I insisted to get her to give her a ride in the car. She still cried even in my arms. She only stopped crying when we’re already outside the house, ready to ride the car.

Fast forwarding this entry once more.

This morning, when she woke up, we went outside our room. Guess to whom she went. You got it right, DARN IT!

If you’re thinking that I’m just a jealous mom, maybe you’re right. Besides, isn’t your daughter should be closer to you than anybody else?

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Ayex, bad mornings, family matters, hubby + me, mommy matters, rants

An open letter to all children: made me cry

I admit, Nicole Hyala and Chris Tsuper can make me laugh. They are our usual background in the car on our way to the office. Before, I get easily annoyed by them and refused to laugh at their jokes even if they’re really funny simply because I think they’re such a noise to my ears. Surprisingly, I came to like listening to them, although not everyday.

To cut this intro short, these people, instead of making people laugh their heart out at their jokes, made people like me, feel guilty and crying one day because of the following:

Anak,

Sa aking pagtanda unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensyahan. Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag kainan, huwag mo sana ako kagagalitan. Maramdamin ang isang matanda. Nagsa-self-pity ako sa tuwing sisigawan mo ako. Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi mo, huwag mo naman sana ako sabihan ng “binge!” paki-ulit na lang ang sinabi mo o
pakisulat na lang. Pasensya ka na anak matanda na talaga ako.

Kapag mahina na tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungang tumayo, katulad ng pag-alalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad. Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung ako man ay nagiging makulit at paulit-ulit na parang sirang plaka, basta pakinggan mo nalang ako. Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o pasasawaang pakinggan. Natatandaan mo anak noong bata ka pa? Kapag gusto mo ng lobo paulit-ulit mo ‘yong sasabihin, maghapon kang mangungulit hanggat di mo nakukuha ang gusto mo. Pinagtiyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo.

Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy matanda, amoy lupa. Huwag mo sana ako piliting maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan, huwag mo sana akong pandirihan. Natatandaan mo ba noong bata ka pa pinagtiyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong maligo.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako’y masungit, dala marahil ng katandaan. Pagtanda mo maiintindihan mo rin. Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkuwentuhan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang. Inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap. Alam kong BUSY ka sa trabaho, subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na akong makakuwentuhan ka, kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kwento ko. Natatandaan mo ba anak, noong bata kapa? Pinagtiyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kwento tungkol sa iyong teddy bear.

At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako’y magkakasakit at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman, huwag mo sana akong pagsawaan alagaan. Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sahigaan, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay. Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal. Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay ay bigyan mo ako ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan. At huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos na lumikha, ibubulong ko sa Kanya na pagpalain ka sana dahil naging mapagmahal
ka sa iyong AMA’T INA….

Nagmamahal,
Nay at Tay

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: hubby + me, stumbled upon

Valentine Goodies

I know this is uber delayed. Nonetheless, let me share them with you. Wymondham College


Hubby must have gotten tired of me every time I go looking for a nice but inexpensive wallet in tiangges so he bought me a really nice authentic Girbaud wallet. This is actually my first Girbaud stuff.


Actually, I’m thinking that hubby bought me a present because I had these yummy cupcakes by Frupcakes specially delivered to him at the office. Wymondham College

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: hubby + me

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Hi there! I'm Nicquee and this is my little space in this world wide web. I'm a mom of two and is happily married. I started this blog as literally my online journal where I dump my emotions. Over the years, I realized that there is more to write about. Feel free to browse through and I hope you find a thing or two that is relatable to you. If that happens, give me a shout-out!

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