bad mornings – Page 2

Seeing your Doctor

If you know me very well, you know that I’m one of those people who are afraid to see a doctor when something is physically wrong. I used to be one of those people who refuses to see a doctor for whatever complain I have in my body simply because I’m afraid to know what the real score. I used to be that person. But somehow, things should really change. I hate it when people around me are getting stressed because of my condition. Thus, I make it a point to see a doctor when something about my body that really bothers me.

That’s exactly what I did last Wednesday.

I forced myself to come to work because of an important meeting, which turned out to be a complete waste of time. Good thing, upon arrival, I immediately told my boss that after the meeting, I shall leave the office to see a doctor. I had upper-right abdominal pains since Tuesday. It hurts and it is really uncomfortable but the pain is still tolerable, thus I was able to convince myself to go to work on Wednesday. Besides, that my corporate life at stake.

And so I saw my ob-gyne and she requested several lab exams plus an ultrasound of my liver and gallbladder. She said she suspects it to be gallstones. I panicked! I had normal delivery for Ayex and is sure that I can do that again this time. But if I have stones, I will never be able to escape the knife.

Yesterday, I had my ultrasound and the person who did it said I am clear. Praise God! Today, I got the official findings of all the tests I took and everything is normal. Praise God again!. I know it is scary but it is better to know asap than to know later when you can’t cure what needs to be cured.

Hubby of course is very relived with the news. I just hope we’ll have the same relief after MIL sees her doctor tomorrow. They been deferring the appointment since Monday even if we said it is important that she sees her dermatologist asap. The reason, nobody is there to take care of Ayex. And so, even if hubby can work at home, we to to his office as usual since they opted to just see the doctor tomorrow, when both hubby and I are home.

I hope none of you sissies are like the person I am before – afraid of the doctor’s findings. And I hope, that all of you out there are doing all your best to be healthy because we all know – Health is wealth.

Letting out these LHC

Left-Hand Column or LHC are your feelings and your thoughts that you do not share to others. Say you have this discussion, somehow, you are not comfortable with the decision that your group arrived at but you are not telling anyone, instead, you are keeping your thoughts to yourself.

I have so many of these and I think some of them starts to bother me already. I don’t know how to say them and I’m afraid people might be offended or something so let me just write these LHC.

I used to think that I have graduated from the time when everything that people say about me matters. I thought I don’t care anymore if people say good and bad things about me as long as I don’t hear them. I’m comfortable with that. I thought I can be used to the idea that people I love and care could back-stab me and I won’t care at all. However, I think there were recent events when I felt unsure of these things. I felt that people were letting me down. Emo much? It just felt sad but I know, like previous times, I will move on and gain back the confidence I somehow lost.

I hate drivers who do not use the signal lights specially those driving private vehicles. On the other hand, I totally appreciate those public utility vehicle drivers who use the signal lights because most of them don’t.

I agree that all conversations are like bank transactions, you either withdraw from your account or make a deposit. It’s a matter of delivering your message. Oh and don’t think that by being passive, meaning you just shut up and say nothing at all, you’re making a deposit all the time. I know I am an assertive person. I have developed that. Why am I being passive these days. I cannot let people say those things to me all the time.

When I grow old, I will learn how to control money, not the control-freak way. I really pray I can. I should be very very very financially stable by then.

I totally think that life will never be unfair. It just sad that sometimes, it unfolds right in your face and you can’t do anything about it.

Guilty!

I’ve been thinking during my commute this morning to the office, I can never live a, for the lack of better term, luxurious life. Not because I cannot, like I don’t have the means. Hey, I work as a corporate slave right? LOL! The thing is, after I give into my whims, which I only did, major one, this year, I get a lot of guilty feelings.

It probably has something to do with being the eldest in the family. Do you think so? I probably got used to thinking about the might-be future expenses. That’s so me! And you know, sometimes, that value causes me heartaches! I most of the time, if not always, think A LOT before spending money, small amount or not. This is because I cannot say when we’ll need extra so that all of us can go to school and back home. Yep, that’s the life I lived.

After buying the his and hers watch for our anniversary, we had a couple of expenditures that we cannot disregard as they involve ULY, our car. Last night, I learned there is another upcoming expenditure. I know we don’t always give in to our whims, specially me. I’ve always thought I’m spending wisely. But why do I feel guilty after?