mommy matters – Page 72

Drama Queen in the Making

I wish I still have a headache today so I have reasons to stay at home and not work just like yesterday so Ayex and I will just play and laugh. I felt really bad that I screamed at her last night for being such a bratty little baby.

This post is actually the prequel of this.

You know, Ayex has developed this attitude from where and how, I really don’t have the answers. When she wants something badly and you fail to give it to her. She would cry and cry and cry. That’s not all, she would force herself to throw-up, leaving her stomach empty for the rest of the night except for milk. This mostly happens in the evening, when mommy and daddy are already at home. Sounds weird but you read it right.

You see, as much as we wanted to give Ayex our full attention when we get home because she deserves that, there are these little things that we just had to do before we can focus to her. Change clothes, eat, and clean up are the only that take our time from her. Even going to bathroom to pee will make her cry!

I don’t actually have so much about her being clingy. I understand because we’re some 10-hours away from her. What I need to cope up with is her trying to force herself to throw-up whenever she cries. For one, I feel a pang of guilt for making her cry and second, I’m worried that she sleeps with her stomach empty. She’s a big time cry baby and I know, unless we move to our own place, I will never be able to correct that because other people around her will always give her what she wants just not to make her cry.

Last night and Today

Yesterday, I finally got Isabel’s orders from Lovella c/o Uncle Hector. I loved the accessories! Lovella really makes her accessories with lots of loooooove. I was scheduled to deliver them to Isabel last night and I was so right that she will also love them! I really hope that she’d let us provide her wedding souvenirs!

Today, my morning didn’t really started right. Ayex burst into crying when I gave him to his Tito because we’re going to work already. Her cry is so loud that even when we’re already in the jeepney, I can still hear her. You bet, my heart sank in deep guilt. Then the hubby seems to be not in the mood to listen to my stories about my sister, Antoinette’s class adventures.

In the office, I was welcomed with a request to help arrange our lunch for the training we’re having. It was an opportunity for us to try again CCME Homemade Foodstuff. Too bad we were not able to advise them earlier thus they could no longer deliver our food in time for our training. tsk! Now, I just came back from the training. It was fun and I learned a lot. I hope there’s more training like that. One thing that training made me realize is that, again, I may not be in the right job that I’m in now. I used to really know what I want and what I’m good at. But now, I feel completely lost.

Mommy’s fear

This post is actually a sequel to another post that I have yet to type. I just had to let it out now so I can stop thinking about it. Not really sure about that, but at least I’m sure writing about it will help.

My morning yesterday was somewhat disastrous: I left my mobile phone at home then my ID with all my keys in the car. I managed to move on a little by indulging with McDonald’s breakfast, which I haven’t done for how long, I can’t remember. (The price that I pay for the food seemed too high for me).

It was Therese and I who went to Mcdo for breakfast. On our way, our topic is my drama queen in the making. Yep, you’re right, I’m talking about Ayex. She’s really a bright and talented little girl that at 17 months, she’s so good at acting up every time she doesn’t get what she wants. No, don’t put all the blame to me if she’s becoming a spoiled brat. Blame me partially because I’m not there to raise her with my own parenting style. What are my choices?

I told Therese that my fear is, what if one day Ayex will no longer be as clingy to me as she is now because she know that MIL is always by side as her kakampi. Therese said that it’s a good thing I am breastfeeding Ayex or else, my fear could have happened long before. She has a point in that. The only thing that differentiates MIL and me is that, I’m the own breastfeeding her. That’s the only thing MIL CAN’T DO.

Fast forwarding this entry.

We arrived home early. As soon as we stopped by our gate, I heard Ayex’s loud cry. I immediately went off the car and see what happened. I saw my brother handing Ayex to MIL. It turned out that she just woke up from sleep. She should still be sleeping but the sound of the car and the barking dogs woke her up.

I tried getting her from MIL and it all started from there. She refused to go to me. She looked at me and then she rested her head again to MIL’s shoulder. If I was emotional that time, I could have cried and left the house off to nowhere. I tried again to get her for the second time, she still refused but I insisted to get her to give her a ride in the car. She still cried even in my arms. She only stopped crying when we’re already outside the house, ready to ride the car.

Fast forwarding this entry once more.

This morning, when she woke up, we went outside our room. Guess to whom she went. You got it right, DARN IT!

If you’re thinking that I’m just a jealous mom, maybe you’re right. Besides, isn’t your daughter should be closer to you than anybody else?