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Feeling Heavy

I’ve been feeling heavy since yesterday – probably it’s the time of the month or perhaps, because of the sad and terrible news I got from a text message.

When I woke up past midnight yesterday to pee, I checked my mobile phone and saw four messages from 2 different people. Thinking they were again another forwarded messages, I didn’t bother opening them.

When I’m finally fully awake yesterday morning, I checked the text messages I got. The messages from the other person is indeed another forwarded messages, the other messages had terrible news.

The news was so terrible that I still feel heavy today. I’m still not sure if that’s the reason or it’s the time of the month. One of the most promising graduates of my batch died from a car accident Saturday evening. I was told that they were on their way to Lucena with her boyfriend’s brother. She was seated in the passenger side. A bus hit them. I texted some of my classmates who I think know her (since we are from different major) about it and they were also shocked like me. One of my classmates whom I texted said that they were on their way to Lucena for a Visita Iglesia or Church Visit. A classmate’s mom was also in their group and saw what happened.

I may be over-reacting here. We’re not really close. We just became classmates in some of the classes I dropped because I didn’t like the teacher so I took their schedule as a replacement. Both of us were a member of the committee that organized our college pictorial and yearbook. That’s it. Probably, I’m this affected because she’s just my age. I came to realize once more that my life is a borrowed life. That eventually, I will have to return this life to my creator irregardless if I still have choices to make or chances left to take. It made me think again of the things I have done to date. Were they good or were they bad? It makes me think now how am I living this life, is it according to God’s plan? Or am I missing something, something more important?

If I were single, I’d probably not this affected. But I have a husband and a little girl. What would happen if God takes back my life all of a sudden?

To Sarah Kaye de Guzman, may your good soul rest in peace.

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Hi there! I'm Nicquee and this is my little space in this world wide web. I'm a mom of two and is happily married. I started this blog as literally my online journal where I dump my emotions. Over the years, I realized that there is more to write about. Feel free to browse through and I hope you find a thing or two that is relatable to you. If that happens, give me a shout-out!

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